WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
