Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
