So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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