So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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