Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
