I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You don't make any sense
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