omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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