Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
