Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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