so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
