There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
