So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
