im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
