U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
sex in a hospital.. check
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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