bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
