OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
