I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
