Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
