I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
