You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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