wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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