This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
