so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
