Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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