Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
