return my video game
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
