I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
