She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
