Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
