Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
This is the high leading the old right now
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
