If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
