problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
