I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
