Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How external is "for external use only"?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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