Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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