The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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