Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
