dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
