I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
