My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
