I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
