Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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