She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
