Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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