forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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