My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
