looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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