i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
