People in love make me want to vomit
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
