the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize